


Allegiant continuation

by janesmith1224



Category: Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-02-18 09:20:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2343281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janesmith1224/pseuds/janesmith1224
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate ending to allegiant. First time writing fan-fic but I had some ideas for my own so idk give it a shot :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, never written fan-fic before but i wanted to try it out. This is an alternate ending to allegiant but I think I will make it somewhat original when it comes to past scenes from the earlier books (if there happens to be a flashback, I don't even know yet). Also, I obviously don't own any rights to the Divergent series :)

It's been just over six months since their plan to overthrow the bureau succeeded and Chicago was opened up as a city for people to come and go as they please. It makes me happy and sad and anxious and nervous all at once to think back to that day. Happy, because I knew that we had succeeded. Anxious to think about how close I was to dying in my snap-decision attempt to trigger the memory serum instead of my brother (who, without a doubt, would not have even made it past the death serum.) Nervous because that's exactly how I was feeling while laying in the hospital bed, listening to Tobias as he angrily reiterated his threat to me. I try not to let the memory come back to me, as it so often does when I'm alone and allow my thoughts to take me other places.

He waited exactly two hours after I finally woke up to say something. Two painful hours, and not from the pain of the gunshot wound in my side, but from having to stare into those deep, blue eyes that I usually found comfort in and for the first time felt quite the opposite. He stared back at me and his eyes were contorted with anger, betrayal, sadness, and maybe even a little guilt, I think. Which told me exactly what I needed to know before he even said anything, but he started to say it anyways.

"I told you that if you were to do anything so reckless with your life again, that we would be over. But instead you decide to take the place of your asshole brother who, might I add, has fucked you over numerous times. Can you even imagine how I felt? Coming back to think we had all succeeded, only to hear from Cara that you were shot and she didn't think you were going to make it?" His voice is somewhere between a scream and a sob and I flinch back a little bit every time he puts an extra emphasis on a word, out of fear that he might just actually spontaneously combust out of anger right here in front of me. 

It takes me a moment to realize that he had asked me a question so I try my best to answer but my voice is so soft I doubt he hears me when I say, "I knew he wasn't strong enough to make it past the death serum, Tobias. You, on the other hand, are the strongest man I have ever met. I knew you could handle it if..." my voice trails off, afraid that if I actually say that I had predicted I was going to die, he would lose it all together. But it isn't hard to assume. I look at Tobias nervously, waiting for him to say something but he doesn't. I'm not sure he could get the words out even if he actually wanted to say them.

This is when my aforementioned sadness kicks in, because those were the last words Tobias ever spoke to me and the last time I ever saw him.

 

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I was supposed to be tried as criminal after that, for attacking a government official and illegal distribution of a serum that was for government use only, but I was released from the hospital as soon as my injuries were entirely healed. I was given a bag of clothes and $300, and was told I could go where I please now that the cities were open. I was confused, I knew I should have been prosecuted for my crimes against the government but they were just letting me go, pretending I had done nothing wrong. I figured someone defended my innocence in court (I had a pretty good hunch of who it was, all circumstances ignored,) but I was free and wasn't about to make any complaints so I didn't stick around to find out. Instead, I went to hunt down Angela who had been so kind to me when I first arrived at the bureau, and hoped that she had forgiven me for what I had done, because I was going to need a huge favor from her.

When I finally found Angela, it was even better than what I had hoped for. Angela couldn't forgive me for what I had done because she couldn't remember me and as rotten as it seems, I was going to use it to my full advantage. I knew there was no way I could go back to Chicago, out of fear of seeing Tobias. Actually, I didn't want to be anywhere on this side of the country because of that fear. I remembered the airplane ride that the bureau had taken us on when we first arrived here, a way to make us understand just how just how large the world is and just how small we are in scale. I had seen maps all over the bureau. I knew there was large expanses of ocean all around our country, but I also knew that there was land on the other side of the ocean and that's where i was headed. Whether I could convince Angela to get me there in her plane or not, I was determined. The thought of exploring this foreign land has sat in the back of my mind since the day I went on the plane but I pushed it away, knowing that there was no way in hell I would be able to get Tobias on an airplane, especially one that would be flying over an ocean that would probably look just as infinite to him as his eyes were to me. The mental pain rips through me again, tearing at my stomach and chest at the thought of his eyes, looking at me, and then looking through me as he left me for good. I try to make light of the situation as best as I can though. I would never have this opportunity had he not left me, and although it's something I would willingly sacrifice in a heartbeat to get him back, I know that won't happen so I settle with the second best thing, travelling.

Angela was more than willing to help me, saying something about "people should use this freedom to their full advantage while they have it" which implied that she thought that one day we wouldn't have this freedom once again, I think? But she didn't try to cover up her words or back track on what she had said, so maybe she didn't really mean it. Either way, I ignore the comment because she's right, I am going to enjoy this freedom while I have it. I'm going to see the world before I come back and settle in Chicago, because I know I'll have to come back sooner or later. That part is inevitable. I have family there, or at least as close to a family as I'll ever have. Sure it may be a little divided for now, but maybe by the time I come back, Tobias will have moved on. As much as that thought hurts, I can't help but smile at the picture in my head, of Tobias with a sweet girl. One who isn't as scrawny as me, isn't as shy and sensitive as I can be, one who will give him everything deserves, won't make him shake with fear every time she leaves the house and make him think there's a possibility she won't return. 

I shake the thought from my head and try to focus on the question Angela is asking me, "where would you like to go?" she asks with a smile on her face. I'm surprised at how eager she is to help and start to think that maybe this is a trap. But even if it were a trap, I'm not sure I would care. I haven't heard from any of my friends since they've left. They probably wouldn't even know I was missing, and maybe it would be better that way, I think, despite how I was just thinking that I have to eventually come back to Chicago for them. Maybe it's me who is more attached to them, than they are to me. They all have loved ones, real family, a person to sleep in their bed at night and keep them safe. Why would they even think twice about me? I think back to the maps that used to sit in David's office, how I'd look at them and often fantasize about visiting these countries even though I had no idea what to expect. Before I even know what I'm saying, I answer Angela. "Brazil," I say. I like the way it rolls of my tongue, how it sounds so familiar but so foreign and distant at the same time. She gives me an even bigger smile before saying, "good choice" with a wink and nod. She calls up a pilot and begins setting up my trip for me. 

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I'm the only person on the plane, aside from two pilots and one flight attendant. I know the bureau has small planes, so it makes me wonder why they decided to use such a large one for just me. I think nothing of it, deciding that maybe it holds more gas or that they could be bringing more people back from Brazil, although the former seems highly unlikely. I settle in and let those thoughts drift away once I look out my window. The view is indescribable. Heights never bothered me, if anything they fascinated me, and I think this is the highest view I've ever had. I can't help but wonder if my friends in Chicago caught sight of plane and pondered if I was on it, considering I hadn't gone "home" to Chicago. I think about how if I had gone home, I probably would have ended up living in my parents old house in Abnegation, granted that it hadn't been given to another family yet, and how it would be hard to walk through the home of my parents who were dead now and I can't help but blame myself for their deaths. I try to think of happier things and let myself drift to sleep with the memory of cooking banana bread for the factionless with my mother.

The happy thoughts don't stay with me in my dreams though, and I wake up heaving for air after my nightmare. It's hard to remember what it was about but the image that keeps haunting my mind is Tobias' eyes the last time I saw them. Except, in my sleep, my mind changes the dark blue irises to black. And that's all I can think of until the pilot comes on the intercom to say we'll be landing in twenty minutes. I didn't think I was asleep that long until I look out my window and see that it is now pitch black outside, which only leads me back to my nightmare and I shudder. I close the shade on the window and lean my head back while I feel the plane begin to slowly decline towards the earth. My heart is racing and I know it's because in about twenty minutes I'll be stepping off of this plane to a whole new world and I have absolutely no idea what to expect of it.


	2. Chapter 2- Tobias POV

I still think about her. Every. Single. Day. I hide it well because I know exactly what my mother would say. But that doesn't stop me from feeling regret every time I think back to how she looked in that hospital bed. So small and weak. I should have been soothing her, telling her she did a good job even if I didn't approve of what she did. Instead all I did was scare her. I saw how she flinched away from me, as if my words hurt her just as much as I physically could, and I think that just added to my anger. The fact that she thought she had any reason to be scared of me just took my anger to a whole new level. Now that I think about it though, I was harsh and she was right (as usual.) There's absolutely no way Caleb could have survived through that. He's no where near as strong as his baby sister. Which is why I should have been grateful that Tris was able to save thousands of lives and still survive herself. I should have been so proud that my girl was the one who succeeded doing something no one else could have. As soon as I left her hospital room, I felt an aching in my chest. Like my heart knew I was leaving her for good and it yearned to be next to her again. But I kept walking away, something I will always hate myself for, and even though I was still angry, I didn't want Tris sentenced to a life in prison or worse, so I went to David myself as soon as he was healthy and defended her like there was no tomorrow. I think my convincing may have worked but I'm not entirely sure. No one has heard from her in months. We've all tried to find, including me. I even went back to the bureau to ask about her and they said she was released a week after she was shot and no one had seen her since. I've been sick with worry, thinking of her out there and alone. It sends a chill through my body but I quickly have to compose myself because I hear someone coming down the hallway to my apartment and I'm sure it's my mother. She never knocks on the door so I'm surprised when I hear it. I walk to the door to see Zeke, panting and out of breath. He's trying to tell me something but it's hard to pick up through his breathing until he slows himself for a moment and I hear him breathe out "Tris." My eyes go wide and I lead him inside, desperate to get him to calm his breathing so he can tell me what happened. In the next thirty seconds, I think of every worst case scenario he could possibly tell me, each worse than the last. He chugs the last bit of water in the cup I gave him and turns to me.

Every nerve in my body is screaming for her when he finally tells me. "Christina and Uriah saw Tris," he rushes out, "apparently she's here, in Dauntless. I tried to tell them that they're crazy, that what happened with you two would prevent her from ever coming back to Chicago, much less to Dauntless. But they swear on it, they think she is here to talk to Amar." I'm sure he probably has more to say, or at least expects an answer from me, but before I even realize what I'm doing, I'm grabbing my jacket and walking out of my apartment with Zeke close on my heels. I hear him trying to talk to me out of this because he thinks I'm still angry at her. I turn around quickly, coming face to face with him, "I'm not mad Zeke, I love her and I made the biggest mistake of my life six months ago and then spent six months trying to find her so I could fix it. I'm not losing this opportunity." I turn to walk away again but his words stop me, "did you ever stop and think that maybe she didn't want you to find her? Maybe she was just as angry at you for leaving her there in a hospital with no friends and no family? She was scared and confused as to why you were punishing her for saving lives even at the expense of her own. She's tough and I think you refused to see it sometimes," he says as he walked the opposite direction away from me. I'm not sure if he heard what I said next, but if he does, he just ignores it. "Maybe she was running from me then, but she's back now and I'm not about to lose her again."

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It's Uriah who I run into first. Things have been tense between us since the explosion I was apart of at the bureau nearly killed him. But today, he's all smiles and he greets me with a huge hug and a friendly slap on the back. I return the gesture, grateful that he seems to have at least forgiven me enough to act normal, like my little brother and best friend again. I'm about to ask him about Tris when he holds his hand up to stop my words and smiles, "she's here," he says, "and she's waiting for you back in me and Chrissy's apartment." His smile only gets bigger when he sees the clear relief on my face. The fact that she wants to see me is enough to stop me from thinking about how, after all this time, I still find it odd that Christina and Uriah ended up together. I think at first they were just hooking up to distract themselves from the loss of their own lovers but it obviously turned into more than that. And I'm happy for my friends but right now all I can think about are those striking blue-grey eyes and blonde hair that will be there to greet me. Or possibly scold me, maybe? I hadn't put much thought into what this first meeting after all these months would entail. I thought it would be our happy, star crossed lovers reunion but I know Tris better than that. I can practically hear her accusing tone and see her eyes scowling at me. Either way, I won't care. I deserve it after what I did. Plus, she's alive and that's really all I care about right now. 

I make my way down the hallway towards Christina and Uriah's apartment. I stop just outside the door and take a deep breath to ease the fluttering feeling of nervousness and turn the knob. I'm not quite sure what I had expected to see, I think I was still imagining her as the frail, injured Tris I left in the hospital, but this wasn't it. She looks so different and so the same at the same time, but more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. Her skin is much tanner than it used to be, her hair a lighter blonde then before from the sun bleaching it, she has a silver hoop in her nose and several earrings in each ear, a very large, intricate, new tattoo going up her arm, and the brightest smile I've ever seen from Tris. A part of me can't help but be bitter at the fact that she looks so happy and healthy after all these months while I was at home torturing myself with the thought of her. She stands up when she sees me and I notice how even her body looks better than before. Every slight curve that she used to have has now filled out and while her figure is still very slight and petite, her body has put on just a few healthy pounds in all the right places. She looks strong too, so strong, as she walks towards me. She's wearing black shorts and a bright purple flowy tank top with some sandals. By now she's standing in front of me and looks really uncomfortable as she's watching my eyes look her up in down, taking all of her in. I snap out of it and I can't help the huge smile that creeps onto my face.

"Tobias," she says, as her greeting, "you look well. How have you been?" Right before I'm about to answer her, and pour my heart out and tell her just how terrible I've been, Christina stands and makes an awkward cough sound, "uhhh, I'll let you have your pricvacy. I'll just be down in the pit, eating lunch with Uriah if you guys want to come join us later."

"Thank you, Chris," Tris says with a smile and gives her a small hug before she goes. I can't help but smirk a little bit at the action. Even after all the this time, no matter how different she may appear on the outside, she still has a hard time with displays of affection like that. She turns back to me, still with the same small smile, but it looks almost sad now. I'm about to tell her how much I've missed her and how long I've been waiting for this chance, but she cuts me off. "Tobias, I know me being here probably isn't the best thing right now, but I didn't have anywhere else to go. I ran out of money a long time ago and it took me weeks to be able to get back to the bureau. When I finally got back, Angela told me that Amar had been waiting for months to talk to me. So I got a ride over here to see what he wants. I won't be staying long, just long enough to do a few favors for Amar and save up some money, and then I'll be out of your hair. Until then, I hope that you can find away for us to be friends. I know just how much you must resent me, and I won't deny that I deserve that after what I had put you through, but I just hope we can be civil. Even if it's for the sake of our friends."

She shifts back and forth on her feet awkwardly, looking down, waiting for my answer. "Okay, I'm sure we can make something work, I suppose." I don't think she sees my smirk since she's still looking down, but I can see her facial expression change from awkwardness to something that almost looks like pain. "Just one question though," I say and she looks up at me with a small shred of hope on her face, "if I kissed you right now, would you push me away?" Her eyes go wide and she shakes her head no, and I don't waste a single second. I pull her into my arms, my hands instinctively knotting themselves in her hair, and kiss her with so much more force and passion than I can ever remember from another kiss. The heat and electricity between us flows between our mouths and our touches on each other. The kiss feels desperate, like we've starved and denied our bodies of this for so long that it's relishing in this opportunity after six months. After several minutes, I feel her start to pull away and I'm suddenly aware of the pain in my lungs as they scream for air. I pull back too, panting and gasping for air. I still have one hand tangled in her hair and another around her waist and I slide my hand up around her shoulders and pull her into me. Her face buries in between my neck and my chest and it doesn't take long for me to feel her body shaking and the tears that wet my shirt soon after. I try to calm her by running my hands through her hair and whispering in her ear. "I missed you, Tris. I looked for you for so long. Not a day went by these past six months that I didn't regret it. I'm sorry Tris, I love you." I'm not sure how many times I whispered the words 'I love you' before she finally pulled back, her eyes red and smudged black with what little makeup she was wearing, and whispered the words back to me. I kissed her forehead, just like I always used to, and pulled her an arms length away so I could look at her. "You are too amazing, you know that?" I say to her, hoping that she'll start to clear her head before we go see the rest of our friends. She laughs a little and rolls her eyes at me before taking a deep breath. She's about to say something when I cut her off, "Wait, I know we have a lot to talk about and work out and so much to catch up on, but we'll save that for tonight, okay? Right now, let's just go eat with our friends in the Pit and then take your stuff to my apartment. That is, if you want to stay with me...?" My voice trails off like a question and I stand there praying to hear the answer I want. "Sounds like a plan!" She says, sounding very enthusiastic and smiling. I sigh with relief and wrap my arm around as we walk to the Pit to see all of our friends.

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I'm not sure how many hours we spent sitting in the Pit, talking with our friends. Tris goes into vivid detail about her time spent in Brazil. She stayed in a motel, working there instead of paying for her room. She said it was a huge city, full of thousands of people and some of the most amazing sights she had ever seen. It was called Rio de Janeiro, I believe is what she said. She tells us about all the people she met, all the places she went and all the things she did while she was there. It makes me sad to think she was so happy there and then had to come back. I think if I had known where she was, what she was doing, and how happy she was, I could have lived without her. I probably wouldn't have been very happy but just content knowing she was living a good life. But I'm not mad that the turn of events brought her back to me. The abnegation part of my brain scolds me for being so selfish but I'm only human and won't try to deny myself from her. In the midst of my thoughts, I hear Christina ask Tris what the tattoo on her arm means and I tune in because I'm just as curious. She blushes and ducks her head a bit, eyes trained down on the table, "I spent a lot of time with the old couple who owned the motel that I was staying in. The man taught me how to play the guitar and taught me a bunch of their old traditional songs. The woman taught me a bunch of spiritual stuff and, although usually I'm not very into that, what she taught me about the constellations in the stars and how the correlate to the months we were born in kind of stuck. I was very intrigued by what the symbolized so I got two of them tattooed on me," she answers.

Christina, being the Candor that she is, continues to ask more about the tattoo, not quite satisfied with the answer. "But you said that each constellation symbolizes a persons birthday month and you got two... so, who are they for?" I can tell Tris feels uncomfortable with this question but I'm also curious so I don't say anything to shut Christina up. I see Tris' blush spread from her cheeks to her chest, "well, one is mine and the other is Tobias'. Physically, we were apart and that killed me, so I connected our constellations on my arm, thinking that we would always be together some way. Even if it was just figuratively." They all seem content with that answer and don't push her on it anymore. I, on the other hand, am pretty fascinated by it and I can't wait to ask her more about these constellations later tonight. Plus, I love that she tried to keep us together somehow. She has yet to see the giant raven tattoo flying across my ribs, towards my heart, that symbolizes her as well and I'm sure she will love it.

"So you play guitar now?' Of course Zeke would be the one to ask her about this. He's always been a fan of music, especially the heavy metal he's used to hearing around Dauntless. I can't really stand the sound of it myself, but if it was Tris who was making those awful shrieking sounds with her guitar, then I'm sure I could learn to love it. Tris smiles at Zeke "not very well and probably not the way that you wish I could. It's all very mellow, and on an acoustic guitar, so it's not near as loud and obnoxious as you like," she answers him sarcastically. He just shrugs and laughs at her, "either way, I'm sure we would all love to hear you play at some point, Tris" he encourages her, probably remembering how shy and self conscious Tris can be about that stuff. She just smiles and nods her head at him, probably doubting that he ever will hear her play.

I don't think any of us realized how long we had been sitting here until people start to shuffle in for dinner. Once Tris sees this, she stands up and said she liked to clean her self up and rest for a bit before Zeke and Shauna's party tonight. They all stand up and give her a hug goodbye before me and her part from the group. We stop by Christina and Uriah's on the way back to my apartment to grab all of her things. She only has a couple bags and a large guitar case and I start to wonder how she manage to live six months with her small amount of belongings. I ask her a few questions on the way up, just making small talk. When we get into my apartment, I immediately find the spare key and give it to her. She accepts it with a smile and kiss and says 'thank you' before heading to the shower. "Tris," I say to stop her, and she turns around, " I want you to play for me." I nod towards the guitar case sitting by my couch. She's wary at first, probably from never having played for anyone but the old man who taught her, but obliges and goes to take the guitar out of the case.

She sits down on the couch with guitar across her lap and I wonder how she can even play the thing when it's almost bigger than her. "Don't make fun of me," she says, "I may or may not have written a song, and it may or may not be about you. Either way, my voice is terrible so just bear with me on this." She's laughing while she says it and I know she must see my eyes light up because it's obvious that this song is definitely about me. The anticipation is killing me while I sit there and watch her get situated, but eventually she starts to strum the strings and it makes a beautiful humming sound, almost like a buzz, and I can't help thinking that this is way better than that music that Zeke always listens to. The strumming turns into quick finger picking and I'm mesmerized by her voice. So soft and smooth and unique.

She stops singing and only plays the guitar for a few more seconds before hitting one last note and letting ring out. I don't even realize that there's tears in my eyes until she's done and moving over on the couch to sit in my lap. She doesn't say anything. She doesn't have to, her song said all it needed to say. But I have yet to say a word so I try my best to speak without my voice cracking and it's barely audible whisper when I say "thank you Tris, it was so beautiful. I wish I could tell you I love you in a more extravagant way but, sadly, you'll have to settle for this." I try to let out a little chuckle but it sounds more like a sob. She curls up into me and nuzzles into my neck. She kisses my neck, then my cheek, and then my lips.

"I'm going to take that shower now," she says after we've sat there for a several minutes. We didn't speak, just held each other. She gets up to walk away but turns around, "You know, you could join me if you wanted..." she teases with a smirk. I laugh and I'm in much better spirits now. I jump up from the couch and run towards the bathroom, tossing her over my shoulder as I go past her. She screams and laughs as I run the next few feet down the hall and i set her down gently once we step inside the bathroom. I had forgotten about the raven tattoo across my ribs until Tris pulls my shirt off in between kisses and gasps when she sees it. "Tobias, oh my god, it's amazing. Is that for me?" I can't help but laugh when she asks the question, "Of course it's for you, crazy. Who else would I ever get a raven tattoo for?" She starts laughing with me but there's also tears running down her face. Our kisses become harder and more intense and we quickly strip each down and jump in the hot shower, where we stay until the water turns cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah the whole love song and whatever is super cliche. Actually this whole story is kinda cliche but whatever i'd rather their love story be more about cliches than one of them be dead at the end, ya know? anyways when i wrote the part about her singing, in my head i imagined her singing Jose Gonzalez's cover of the The Knifes - Heartbeats. Listen to it if you've never heard it before orrrrr just imagine whatever sappy love song you'd rather her sing :) still trying to get the hang of this whole fan-fic thing soooo leave reviews if you happen to stumble upon this story :)


	3. Chapter 3 - Tris POV

After Tobias and I get out of the shower, we rush to get ready because Zeke and Shauna are expecting us at their apartment in about twenty minutes. My hair has grown a lot since I cut it and it comes down just past my breasts, so I decide to put it in a cute side braid. I put on a very small amount of mascara and fill in my eyebrows just a bit. I thought about wearing one of the exotic dresses I got in Brazil, but decide against it because this is a Dauntless party so of course there will be drinking games that require you to strip. I put on a tank top, then a t-shirt, then a sweatshirt and I wear spandex under my jeans. I slip on some sneakers just as Tobias comes into the room fully dressed and fresh shaved. God, he is  _so_ handsome. I don't think he'll ever understand how much I missed him, how much my body ached for him when I was alone in bed at night, how many times I cried myself to sleep knowing I never wanted to love anyone ever again. Sure there was a few guys I had met at the neighborhood parties that would happen around the motel that my friend Ana would drag me to, and sometimes by the end of the night we would end up kissing, but that would only make me miss Tobias more and result in me pushing them away and going back to the motel by myself. Those were the roughest nights. I felt like I had betrayed him or cheated on him while at the same time thinking he didn't want anything to do with me and probably wouldn't care who I slept with. But now that I'm sitting here, I'm relieved it had never gone further than kissing. I never want to share that experience with anyone except Tobias.

 

By the time I snap back to reality, I realize I must have been staring at him for a long time because he's smiling at me with one eyebrow raised as if he's waiting for explanation or an answer. "Sorry, what did you say?" I ask. He probably thinks I'm crazy. Actually, I know he thinks I'm crazy but that's besides the point.

"Are you ready to go yet?" he asks again, laughing. "We were supposed to be at Zeke and Shauna's like, ten minutes ago." He's checking his watch and I can tell he's trying to hurry me without being rude.

"Oh... yeah! I've been ready, I was just... kinda spacing off, I guess." I try to laugh it off a bit so he doesn't ask any questions but the look on his face tells me that he'll be asking me questions when we get home. I start to smile as I think that, realizing I had basically just referred to it as  _our home_ in my head. 

Tobias catches me in the act again and this time doesn't hold back, "What is it that you keep thinking about that's making you smile?" He seems curious but also a little nervous about what my answer could be. He doesn't know that for the past six months, anything that has made me smile is some memory of me and him, and the good days that we had even though there weren't many.

"I was just thinking that I'm going to like living with you. I'm excited to share a home with you," I answer with a shy smile. He doesn't look at me but I don't miss the huge grin that spreads across his face. The sight of it pracitically makes me melt and I feel like my heart is swelling up. I grab his hand and we continue to walk in silence the rest of the way to Zeke and Shauna's. 

 

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As soon as we walk in the door, our friends light up at the sight of us holding hands. They all shuffle over and line up to give me a hug. No matter how long it's been since I left Abnegation, I still can't help but struggle with physical contact like this but I push through for the sake of my friends because I know that they missed me and are just excited to have me back. I just keep smiling and hugging until I've gone through all of them. Uriah is, of course, the first person to put a drink in my hand. Normally, I didn't like to drink with them, but this seems to be a special occasion so I go ahead and take a big drink. It's really strong but it actually tastes really good. I see Uriah watching me with a smile of anticipation out of the corner of my eye, so I tip the cup back and chug the whole thing in one breath for his benefit. When it's empty I hand it back to him where he's standing wide eyed and in shock. I just laugh and tell me to make me another one just like the first one.

I drank quite a bit while I was in Brazil in the hopes that it would keep my mind off of everything, and sometimes it worked. Other times it just made it worse. Regardless, it built up my tolerance for alcohol quite a bit, but not enough to not make me feel that first drink just a little bit in my head. It's a good feeling. I feel elated and everything almost feels like it's a dream. Yesterday, I wouldn't have thought that I would be welcomed back with open arms by Tobias, but I was, and I think it really helps my buzz to know that I'm in such a happy place right now. Uriah soon returns with another drink. I still take big drinks but slower this time. Most of my friends haven't even started drinking yet so I don't want to be drunk already.

I look around and notice I don't see Tobias anywhere and instantly start to panic. Maybe he started having second thoughts about me already and decided to just leave me here, hoping I would get the point and not come back to his apartment. I almost literally palm my forehead at the thought. Of course Tobias would have second thoughts about us, I haven't even been back five hours yet and I already told him how I wanted to share a  _home_ with him. How could I be so fucking stupid? I left for six months, I shouldn't have just assumed we would pick up right where we left off. I feel the tears start to well up in my eyes as I think about what an idiot I was, but then I feel someone grab my arm. I turn to find Zeke smiling at me.

"He's coming right back, Tris," he assures me, "he said he left something at the apartment and that he would be back in five minutes. Seriously, quit worrying and get your drink on." He pushes his cup to mine as a "cheers" and kisses the top of my head. I smile and nod my head and calm down a bit. It's nice having someone like Zeke around. Uriah, too. They're like the brothers I never had. You know, the kind who wouldn't try to kill me. I laugh a bit at my own joke in my head and Zeke looks at me questioningly but I just smile and shake my head before I tip my drink bag and chug the rest.

A minute later, I feel those big, familiar hands slip around my waist and pull me close. I lean my head back against Tobias' chest and turn so my face is almost nuzzled in his neck. If only I was just a little bit taller. I breathe him in and he kisses my forehead.

"Where did you go?" The words come out a bit more slurred than I expected and I'm a little embarrassed but it's just Tobias and he's definitely seen me worse than this so I'm not worried about it.

He laughs at my drunk words and shakes his head. He leans down just a bit to whisper in my ear, "it's a surprise but you'll definitely know by the end of the night. Although we should probably do it before you get too drunk." He laughs again and kisses my lips and then he looks at Zeke and nods his head once. I'm not sure if it's the alcohol affecting me but I am beyond confused. 

Zeke stands on the coffee table in the living room and I am just now aware of how many people are at this party. I don't even recognize over half of the people here but I guess that's what happens when the factions get destroyed and people are free to go where they please.

"LISTEN UP PEOPLE!" Zeke shouts from the coffee table. The music is immediately shut off and everyone stops and turns to look at him, "WE'RE PLAYING A GAME OF DAUNTLESS TRUTH OR DARE. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY THEN GET OUT!" Several people get up to leave but not many. I get the feeling that this wasn't what people wanted because Zeke starts to yell again "IF YOU'RE STAYING, KEEP IN MIND THAT WE  _STRIP_ IN THIS GAME. DOWN TO OUR BIRTHDAY SUITS IF NECESSARY!" That was enough to get almost everyone except for a few dauntless kids that I recognize from when I first came to Dauntless. We all settle around the coffee table in the living room and Uriah goes around and tops off everyone's drinks before we get started. 

We all go several rounds and almost everyone has to do something absolutely ridiculous or inappropriate. After a couple of rounds, that kids that I recognized, leave before they have to do something too embarrassing or have to get naked. Then it's just me, Tobias, Shauna, Zeke, Christina and Uriah. It's Zeke's turn and he looks directly at me and I instantly feel nervous. I'm already down to my spandex and tank top and I'm not comfortable showing anymore skin than that. 

"Tris," Zeke starts, "I dare you to play a song on your guitar for us." He smirks knowing I won't want to play but also knowing I won't want to take anymore clothes off.

"That's not fair! I don't even have my guitar with me!" I'm protesting but it comes out sounding more like a whine. 

"Actually, that's not true." Tobias steps back in with my guitar case but I hadn't even realized he left my side. "This is what I went and got from  _our_ apartment earlier because Zeke said he really wanted to hear you play. I told him you'd be too nervous to in front of all of the people but he promised he would make everyone leave by then. So, here we are." He takes the guitar out of the case and sits it in my lap but I'm still smiling like a crazy person at the emphasis he put on "our apartment." I quickly realize that there's no way I'm getting out of this, especially without getting more naked, so I sigh heavily and pick the guitar up.

"I guess it's a good thing I slowed down on the drinking about an hour ago," I joke. They laugh but I can tell that they are all very eager to hear my song. "Uhhh, well. I wrote this song one night at the motel when I was feeling really homesick and I missed all of you guys a lot. So, I hope you like it." I look down at my guitar and take a deep breath. I don't like to play for people that often so this is nerve wracking. But, I also love to conquer my fears because it's a rewarding feeling so of course I'm not going to back out. 

**(A/N SONG IS SWING LIFE AWAY BY RISE AGAINST. SUPER GOOD SONG GO LISTEN TO IT)**

  
_Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?_   
_Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?_   
_Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?_

_I'll show you mine if you show me yours first_   
_Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse_   
_Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words_

_We live on front porches and swing life away,_   
_We get by just fine here on minimum wage_   
_If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,_   
_I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand_

_I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move_   
_The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon_   
_Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow_

_I've got some friends, some that I hardly know_   
_But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world_   
_We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go_

_We live on front porches and swing life away,_   
_We get by just fine here on minimum wage_   
_If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,_   
_I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand....until you hold my hand_

_I'll show you mine if you show me yours first_   
_Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse_   
_Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words_

_We live on front porches and swing life away,_   
_We get by just fine here on minimum wage_   
_If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,_   
_I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand_

_Swing life away  
_   


_Swing life away_

_Swing life away_

_Swing life away_

 

 

I finish the song with one last, loud note ringing clear. I realize I had my eyes closed the whole time was playing but open them when I hear my friends clapping their hands like maniacs. I can't help my huge smile when I see tears running down Christina's face, the look on Zeke and Uriah's and face that looks like they're saying "fuck yeah, rock on!" Shauna seems to be really impressed and then I look at Tobias and my heart stops for a second. The look of pride and joy is all over his face and he's got the biggest grin I think I've ever seen from him. That look overwhelms me and walk over to wrap my arms around him. I stand on my tip toes to whisper in his ear, but to the rest of our friends who are now clumsily trying to figure out how to play a guitar, it probably looks like I'm kissing his cheek. "Take me home, Tobias," I whisper as secuctively as possible, "take me to  _our_ bed." I feel the goose bumps spread across his neck by my face and can't help but smile at the effect I have on him.

 

In a few seconds, we wrap everything up with our friends and tell them goodbye. And it takes every ounce of resistance me and Tobias have not to sprint home but this walk feels longer than usual.

 

 

Tobias is attempting to unlock the apartment door but I'm standing between him and the door, facing him. I'm kissing him along his jaw, neck, and collar bone while my hands are under his shirt kneading at his back. I can tell he can't decide whether to focus on me or the door but he eventually gives up on the door for a moment and gives all his attention to me. Before I know what he's doing, he's picked me up and pushed me against the door and my legs are wrapped around his waist. He kisses on my neck and sucks lightly on it, using a little bit of his teeth. I can tell he's going to leave marks on me but I'm too caught up in the moment and little buzzed to even care about that right now. I didn't even know he was still trying to unlock the door until we stumble inside. He's still holding me around his waist while he kicks the door closed and locks it. He keeps kissing my neck until he tosses me on his bed and climbs on top of me.

 

Our lips are locked together. We're kissing with such an intense passion, it sends a shudder through me and I find myself clawing at his shirt in an attempt to rip it off. He breaks away from the kiss for just a second and yanks it off over his head so fast I don't even see it happen and then he's back on my lips. I'm still only wearing my tank top but I had put my jeans back on before we left Zeke and Shauna's. He starts to unbutton them and I hear the zipper as he starts to slowly pull them down. It seems like he's waiting for my reaction, to see just how far I'm wanting to go tonight, but it's been almost seven months since the first and last time Tobias and I had sex at the bureau. I pleasured myself to the thought of it for the months I was away in Brazil but it wasn't anywhere near the same. My body is screaming for this, craving it, and I'm not about to tell it no.

 

I help Tobias and just rip the damn pants off myself. While we're both sitting up, I take the liberty of taking off his pants as well, and I am more than pleased to see the large bulge through his boxers. My mouth starts to water at the thought, and before I even think about what I'm doing, I'm pulling him out of his boxers. I rub my hand up and down his cock a few times and look up to gauge his reaction. His eyes are almost closed but I can see him looking at me and he lets out a groan of pleasure. I smile to myself and decide to be a little bold. I lick all the way up his length a few times and then continue to stroke him with my hand. "Oh my god, Tris..." he mutters, more to himself than me, I think. I like that I can make him feel that good and I like the way he says my name when he's overwhelmed by all the pleasure. I take him in my mouth and suck lightly on the tip for a few seconds before bobbing my head and taking in all that I can. I can hear him moaning loudly but I'm too concentrated on what I'm doing, on trying to find what really gets him going. I lick around the head and swirl around in my mouth for a little bit, I go down as far as I can before I gag, I stroke with my hands and suck at the same time. I feel his hand come down and knot itself into my hair and it only gives me more motivation.

 

"Tris..." he moans, "your turn now." My mouth was beginning to feel a little tired so I happily oblige. I sit up on my knees to meet his gaze and start to kiss him again. The lust in his eyes turns me on more than I thought possible. He rips off my shirt and unclasps my bra quickly and then yanks my panties off. He continues to kiss me while his hands explore my body, like he's forgotten what it felt like. He caresses my breasts and then begins to kiss me down my neck and chest. He stops at my breasts and begins to flick his tongue over my nipple. I'm writhing in the pleasure that it brings and I let out a loud moan. I tried to control it but I couldn't so I decide not to even bother trying to hold back my moans anymore. Besides, it just gives Tobias motivation to keep going. He sucks on my breast while his hand continues to explore further down. His hand is rubbing up my inner thighs and I gasp as I feel his finger rub against my clit. The friction feels so good and helps release the tension that just continues to build down there. He continues to rub with his thumb while one of his fingers slides all the way inside of me. I feel a shudder go through my body and another loud moan escapes my mouth. He smiles up deviously at me and begins to slide his way down. I'm looking up at the ceiling when I feel something wet rub against my clit this time. I almost scream with pleasure when I look down and see that it's Tobias' tongue. His fingers continue to pump in and out of me, sometimes stopping to swirl around, while he flicks his tongue quickly across my clit repeatedly. I know I'm about to finish so I stop him. "Tobias," I pant, "I want to come with you inside of me. Please." It all comes out like a moan but he doesn't hesitate.

 

He brings his lips back to my mouth and I can taste myself. It's not a bad taste either. Actually, if anything, I think it turns me on more. He pushes his length inside of me and as he begins to thrust in and out of me, it begins to turn from fucking to actual  _love making_. Oh god, all the passion in his eyes, the slight smile that hasn't left his face since I got here, it's so overwhelming and it begins to push me over the edge. Right before I'm about to come, I grab his neck and pull him down to me, " I love you, Tobias," I whisper in his ear and then kiss his cheek. I then let out a loud moan/scream and violent shudders shake through my body. I feel him as he starts to come, too. We lay there for a few moments, panting, holding each other so tight in our arms. I never want to let go.

 

Then it hits me, and I'm not sure why, but suddenly I'm thinking about how hard the last six months of my life has been without him. How I thought he didn't want me, that he hated me, and I come back to find that he's been searching and waiting for me for so long. I think about how he must have felt that night at the bureau finding out that I risked my life, that I was willing to let him lose me when we had other options, and then this moment right now. How perfect the sex we just had was, and that it wasn't near enough to fulfill how much I missed him, but I'm actually holding him in my arms right now. He's kissing my neck right now, playing with my hair and rubbing his fingers lightly along my spine. Before I can react, the tears are flowing freely and I'm sobbing uncontrollably. Tobias looks at me confused, and hurt, like he thinks it was something he did. I try to console him but I'm not able to speak through the sobs that are wracking my body right now. I cry it out for a few minutes and he just holds me. Eventually they just turn to sniffles while I gulp for air. As soon as I think I can talk, I try to explain.

 

"Baby, what's wrong? Please tell me. You're worrying me." I think this is the fourth time he's asked and I know it's driving him crazy.

 

"I'm sorry Tobias," I sob, "It's nothing you did. I just started thinking of everything. They aren't all sad tears, some of them are happy tears." I try to laugh but it still sounds like a sob. I take a deep breath and try to further explain.

"I just feel so guilty for everything I've done," I continue, "for sacrificing myself for knowing how bad it would hurt you. And then just moving away without telling anyone. I know that must have worried you now, but at the time I didn't think you would care. Not that it makes it right, but still. But now here I am, after all these months laying with the man who I am madly in love with in his bed, or I guess I should say  _our_ bed and can't remember the last time I felt this happy." By now, I've stopped sounding so choked but the words come out quickly. Like I'm trying to put them out there as fast as I can to see how he reacts.

 

Tobias just looks at me and shakes his head. "Tris, you have absolutely no reason to say you're sorry. I am the one who should be sorry. I should have known you well enough that you wouldn't let Caleb go into that safe, I should have come up with a different plan that would mean all of us could have lived. Thankfully we did, but anyways, not only that but I left you in the hospital  _on your death bed_  basically and didn't come back for you in time. I have lived with that guilt every day since. And if I weren't such a man of pride, I would have come back the next day. But I guess a part of me wanted you to learn your lesson, in a really sick messed up way, so I stayed away. Then, by the time I started to get really worried and went back to find you, they said you had left. I hated myself for that Tris. Especially to think of you, all by yourself somewhere without anyone that you knew, it was physically killing me. The guilt was just eating me away and I didn't know how to stop it. I even let Evelyn back into my life, hoping that maybe having someone around who was an even worse person than I was, would help ease the guilt. But it didn't. And I still can't stand her. Anyways Tris, what I'm saying is, these past six months were not your fault and I don't want you to feel guilty for one second. I only hope that I can make it up to you somehow. I'll do anything, even if I have to devote my whole life to it." He stops and kisses my forehead and my eyelids and my nose then a little peck on my lips.

 

I look at him in awe. It's hard for me to wrap around my brain that both of us spent half of a year beating ourselves up that could easily be blamed on the other person, but we didn't. I guess that shows how much we truly love each other. And looking at him now, I think about just how lucky I am that I am alive, and he is alive, and I will get to spend my life with the most amazing man, inside and out, that I have ever laid eyes on.

 

"I love you, so damn much, Tobias Eaton." Is all I can muster up from all of the thoughts running through my brain.

 

"Just as I love you, Tris Prior," he whispers back. I settle into his arms and fall into a deep, dreamless sleep in my happiest place in the world.


	4. Chapter 4 - Tris POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been super busy with working and my college classes lately so I probably won't get to update more than once a week but I will make an effort to do so as often as I can :)

Being back in Dauntless is like waking up from a bad nightmare. As much as I loved Brazil and miss the friends that I made there, it wasn't home. And it never will be, because Tobias is here in Chicago and Tobias will always be home for me. l wake up in Tobias' arms and it wasn't until now that I realized how much I missed this. I wanted to lay here in his arms for the rest of the day but I knew that wasn't going to be an option. I had to go to talk to Amar today about whatever it was he wanted to see me for and I also promised Christina that we could have "girl time" today which probably meant that she would make me shop with her until the stores kicked us out for closing. I at least wanted to lay here until Tobias wakes up but when I looked over at the clock and saw that it was already ten, I groaned and rolled out of his grip and planted my feet on the floor. I heard him stir a little bit at my movement but he didn't wake up. It took all my energy to actually stand up and walk to the shower, and once I did, I stood in the warm water until it turned cold. 

I walked into our room to get dressed for the day and noticed that Tobias wasn't in bed anymore. I panicked for just a second until I smelled bacon coming from the kitchen and heard the refrigerator being opened and closed. My mouth instantly starting watering and my stomach started to growl, reminding me that I was starving. I brushed my hair out quickly and threw on some dark blue jeans, a black t-shirt and some black sneakers. I headed to the kitchen and Tobias' face instantly lit up with a smile when he saw me, an expression I'm sure my face probably mirrored at the sight. I sat at the bar-like counter and leaned over for a kiss.

"Good morning, gorgeous!" Tobias greeted me. He sounded a bit more chipper than usual so I instantly became a little suspicious but hid it well.

"Good morning to you, too," I laughed, "what's all this? You didn't have to make breakfast, I could have just grabbed something in the pit before I went to see Amar."

"I wanted to, though. Plus, I figured it would give me an opportunity to talk to you, uhhh... about today..." he trails off at that and my suspicions are confirmed. I narrow my eyes at him just a bit.

"What do you mean talk to me about today?" It came out a bit more bitchier than I meant but at least he'll know I'm expecting the truth.

"Well, I spoke to Amar and I'll be attending this meeting with you. Except it'll be me and him talking to you about some important stuff that has come up." He sounds nervous, so I, of course, get nervous as well.

"So you know what all of this is about? The suspense is killing me. Will you just tell me? Or give me some kind of hint or at least tell me it's not as bad as I'm expecting?" I almost sound like I'm begging, which I think is a sign of weakness, so I try to compose myself.

In return, he kisses my forehead and pulls me towards the door. "Let's just go now and get this over with, okay?" he says. My hands are probably sweaty and my stomach is churning from the nerves. We walk towards Amar's office at the top of the pire and get on the elevator. Tobias notices how nervous I am and pulls me into a hug.

"Tris, there's really nothing to worry about. I swear," he assures me, "besides, what could he possibly say that's making you so nervous?"

I think I'm mostly afraid that Amar will tell me that I'm not allowed to stay in Dauntless after what happened at the bureau. And I know that if I can't stay then Tobias won't stay either. This is Tobias' home though and I would never want or ask him to leave on my account. I don't tell him this though, because I'm not really sure what I would rather hear. Either 'yes, I would leave. There's no way I'd let you go without me again' which would just make me feel guilty, or 'you're right, there's no way I could leave Dauntless no matter what the circumstances are' which would just tear a hole right through my heart.

I just shrug my shoulders and say, "I don't know, I guess I'm just eager to see what he has to say after all this time." This answer seems to satisfy him, although I'm sure he can see past it.

We arrive at Amar's office and Tobias knocks three times before opening the door. Amar is seated at his desk going through some paperwork and looks up at our arrival. To my relief, he smiles and stands to pull me into a huge hug. "Tris!" he exclaims, "oh god, have I missed seeing you around this dark and gloomy place! I'm so happy you decided to come back. We could really use a person like you around here."

I return the hug and question him a bit. "A person like me, meaning what? Scrawny, seventeen year old girl?" I laugh, finding it funny that someone could ever see me as much more than that.

He laughs at this and chastises me for it, "Oh Tris, you don't give yourself enough credit, do you? You are so much more than just a scrawny, seventeen year old girl. You are the bravest, strongest, most selfless girl I know." Our conversation turns a bit more serious and sentimental at this. I've always like Amar. Ever since I first met him. Over the short period of time I got to know him at the bureau, he became some what of a fatherly figure for me. He always wanted the best for me, always tried to keep me as safe as he could manage, always had more faith in me than I did in myself. Until now, I hadn't realized how much I missed him, but I'm too humble to just graciously accept his compliments so I smirk at him and reply a little sarcastically, "Well, you can thank my trainer for all that. He was one of the best, you know..." I turn the attention back to Tobias, who just blushes just a little at my comment before kissing my cheek.

Amar laughs and gestures for me to take a seat at his desk next to Tobias. He sits down on the other side and tries to organize the mess of papers sprawled across his desk. Finally, he clasps his hands and looks at me, "I assume Four hasn't told you much about this meeting we're having, has he?"

I roll my eyes and shake my head no at him, "believe me, I tried. He's tough one to budge when it comes to things like this."

Amar laughs again and turns serious after a moment but I can still see the hint of a smile on his face. "I'm not really sure how to lead up to these things so I'm just going to come right out with it. We need your help Tris. We meaning the city. Everyone seems to be having a tough time settling into the new way of living here without the factions and causing tension among everyone. It seems like everyone wants the best of both worlds. They like the freedom they've been giving but they're not adjusting to living among all the others easily. I'm not entirely sure how to fix it. So, I figured you could help. I know you've got a bit of Erudite in you that could probably come up with a good solution to this. On top of that, I'd like to offer you a position on the board with me. You wouldn't technically be a leader, but you would attend all the council meetings with me and your input would definitely be appreciated."

It's a lot to take in at the moment. Not at all what I was expecting, but the solution to their problem seems very obvious to me. So I begin to explain, "So give the people what they want then. Let them have the best of both worlds. They still want to practice the same traditions they had in their factions? Then let them. But if they also want the freedom to live where the please and associate and date and marry who they please, then let them. If a kid wants to join a new "faction" when he turns sixteen, then he can. But if he still wants to go home and visit his parents on the weekend, then so be it. We should all change our initiation up though. Find a way to incorporate a little bit of all the factions. Like Dauntless for example, yes we should still train the protectors of the city, because at any day the bureau could decide to send someone in here to shut us down, but instead of just teaching them bravery, we should teach them to live among everyone with kindness, and to be honest with others, to selflessly help other civilians and teach them to act out of intelligence not just impulse. And, if it so happens that someone wants nothing to do with any of the factions, then that's his choice. But he has the right to live among peacefully with the rest of us in the city. And as for your offer, yes I would love to work with you on the council."

Tobias and Amar sit there with wide eyes, staring at me. I guess it must have been a lot to process, especially since the words came tumbling out so quickly. I thought they would be able to keep up but I'm not about to go over all of it again, so I'll just wait for them to ask questions and I'll answer as best as I can.

Amar bursts out laughing, a deep, booming laugh and I'm confused by it. I duck my head a bit, embarrassed, thinking that he must think I'm a fucking idiot. He's still laughing when he starts to speak, "How is it that a bunch of full grown men can sit around a table for hours and hours, day after day, trying to come up with some solution to a problem, and you can just walk in here and come up with the best idea I've heard all month like it should be the most obvious thing? You truly are the most intelligent and well-rounded person I know, Tris."

I perk up once I realize he's laughing at himself for being so oblivious, rather than me coming up with some crazy idea. "Thank you Amar, but I'm not entirely looking forward to presenting this idea to the council myself. None of them know me like you do, so I feel as though the rest of them would doubt me a bit. I'd feel a lot better if you presented the idea as your own and I'll just back you up on it. Help you fill in the blanks as you go..."

He nods his head at me, "I understand Tris, although I don't feel like any of them would doubt your intelligence or doubt that this is most definitely the best idea we've proposed all this time. But if it will make you more comfortable then I will tell them it was me, someday though, in like fifty years though when I'm on my death bed, I'll tell them it was all you." We laugh at this and I can't help the feeling of elation I have right now. This meeting went way better than expected, and I think it will be nice to have a little taste of the factions back. We can't deny that it was how we were raised to live. It just feels normal. But now, it'll just be a little more evolved. 

I think about all of the things we could do for Dauntless initiation, now that we would be involving a bit of all of the faction values. That gives me another idea, "Amar, since I've come up with this brilliant idea and I'm letting you take the credit, I think it would only be fair if you let me and Tobias do the initiation training. I have some really good ideas of things we could do." I say it teasingly at first, but he knows I'm being serious about training. 

I feel Tobias' hand slip into mine and he squeezes tightly. I look at him to see him flashing me the most amazing smile and he nods, as if to say he likes that idea, too. Amar's face lights up, "Of course, Tris! I wouldn't want anyone but the two of you running it!"

I smile to myself and to Tobias, satisfied with this meeting. And more than just a little excited that we'll be making this city feel like home again, and I get to share this whole experience with the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. It all feels almost too good to be true and I hope that things won't keep up with their pattern of always going downhill at some point, which has happened with just about everything in my life thus far. I know I can do it though, because as long as I have Tobias by my side, supporting me, I can to just about anything from the strength I gain from him. I look at him again and see him smiling with pride as he looks at me. Every time I see that smile, my heart just melts. God, I am so lucky to have him, and I know that, as long as he'll have me, I will never fuck it up again. I am his, from now until forever.


End file.
